Speaking with students about tragic events

Sadly, when tragic events happen here in Canada or around the world, we know that some students may experience a wide range of reactions and emotions.

Although events like this are rare, they can have an impact on each of us—our children, staff, families and friends. We all respond to situations like this in different ways. Some feel sadness or grief. Some feel anger or a sense of helplessness and anxiety. Whatever we feel is okay, and we want families to know support is available to help you and your children in these situations.

Tips for elementary students

• Recognize that children may become concerned that something bad will happen to them, their family or friends. Explain that safety measures are in place and reassure them that you and other adults will take care of them.
• If your child is not focused on the tragedy, do not dwell on it. Try to avoid having detailed adult conversations regarding the tragedy in front of children. However, be available to answer questions to the best of your ability. Young children may not be able to express themselves verbally. Pay attention to changes in their behaviour or social interactions.
• Limit exposure to media and social media. Images of a disaster or crisis can become overwhelming, especially if watched repetitively. Young children in particular may not be able to distinguish between images on television and their personal reality. Older children may choose to watch the news—be available to discuss what they see and to help put it into perspective.
• Maintain normal family routines as much as possible. Routine family activities, classes and friends can help children feel more secure.
• Be aware of your own needs. Don’t ignore your own feelings of anxiety, grief and anger. Talking to friends, family members, faith leaders and mental health counsellors can help. Let your children know you are sad. You will be better able to support them if you can express your own emotions in a productive manner.

Tips for secondary students

• Bring up the topic at a time and place where a discussion can occur. If there are distractions, a shortage of time or if either you or your teen is too tired or busy, it is likely the conversation will not be completed. If your teen is not focused on the tragedy, do not dwell on it. However, be available to answer questions to the best of your ability.
• It is normal for people to try to make sense of things when a serious loss occurs. Allow your teen to share their ideas and speculations. Help them to separate what they know from what they are guessing about.
• Limit exposure to media and social media. Images of a disaster or crisis can become overwhelming, especially if watched repetitively. Teenagers may choose to watch the news—be available to discuss what they see and to help put it into perspective.
• Maintain normal family routines as much as possible. Routine family activities, classes and friends can help children and teens feel more secure.
• Be aware of your own needs. Don’t ignore your own feelings of anxiety, grief and anger. Talking to friends, family members, faith leaders and mental health counsellors can help.
• Let your teen know you are affected too. You will be better able to support them if you can express your own emotions in a productive manner. ​

As always, our top priority is the safety and well-being of each of our students—your children. It’s important for you to know help is available through our schools. If you are concerned about your child or feel they need additional support, and you would like to speak with a social worker or counsellor, please contact your school’s principal or vice-principal.